A Worthy New Year's Resolution...Protecting Your Fruit!

There is a tree just outside my backyard that still has "fruit" on it this time of year. As you can see it is blanketed in snow and frost. This is a tough time of year for the trees. The cold winds blow and many of the limbs that branch off the main trunk of the trees become brittle and break. The left over "fruit" of this tree is not any good except for the moose and birds to digest. Come spring any "fruit" left will drop to the ground and rot. Broken branches will be gathered up by the rake and burned. 

It is part of nature and life but it is kind of sad to see how nature can cause damage to a growing and living tree. 

Our families are growing a living trees. Parents try to be as best they can, a solid influence and supporting trunk that the children can be attached to and fed by. Parents are not perfect. I do not believe a parent sets out to say: "I want to be a bad parent and I will do all in my power to mess up this kid for life!" Yet this happens. 

As a parent I am very aware of the mistakes I make and the flaws I have. Yet, I am constantly trying to do better and seek God's grace and help in raising my children. I know I only have a few short years with them but they are important and influential years. 

I want my children to grow into strong trees themselves that bear much good fruit. As a parent I want to work and improve at controlling the foul weather that has an influence on them. I cannot protect them from every bit of frighting and rotten things that will happen to them in this world. I can be there though to speak to those things if I am willing to address them now.

My son is in 5th grade. He is becoming keenly aware of the differences in the sexes. He is curious. That is natural and I believe healthy. I see my 3rd grade daughter moving from the admiration of the elegance of the Disney princess to a different kind of "cool" that gives most dad's (me included) a bit of heartburn. Daughters beginning to decide what is cool and what is not is nothing new either. I believe that is a part of growing up.  

Our kids today are faced with sex much earlier than you or I were likely exposed to this topic. A walk through the mall brings us face to face with models and mannequins dressed in revealing under apparel. TV has ads for Viagra, feminine products, contraception, date sites, phone "hook-up", shows and music programs that are tasteless as well as a variety of other things to numerous to list here. The internet brings into the home a entirely different set of issues with websites, chatting, video conversations that can go to dangerous areas. Even our children's school classrooms have become places where questionable subject matter is taught and passed off as "the norm."

S.B. 49 was recently signed into law by California's Governor Jerry Brown. The law states that beginning in January the schools will, at ALL grade levels, make a positive presentation regarding the contributions of lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders as part of the teaching in the classrooms. Having stated that, law S.B. 49 makes me wonder: Is this really necessary when kids are not learning how to read well or even know their basic math skills? I do not know how exactly this new law is being instituted into the classroom but for me the question is not "how" but why! Why is a question I have on many level like why the TV ads, shows, bedroom issues, inability to securely block internet images and so on that rob the innocence of our children.

It makes my wonder about making a different kind of New Year's resolution. Normally a New Year's resolution is about a self change or improvement. I think I need to make a different commitment in the coming year, a better one not focused on myself but about my relationship with my children. A commitment to be more active in being present and helping my kids navigation through the foul weather that can cause branches to break and fruit to fall and rot. 

I could address this law but it is only a symptom of a bigger problem. It is a disease that needs addressing that is all through our culture. The bigger issue I want to address here at this time is: 
CARING FOR YOUR FRUIT!!!! 
HELP THE BRANCHES OF YOUR FAMILY GROW STRONG!!!

The Bible talks a lot about sex. There are over 800 references to sex in the Bible. Mostly references are negative. The reason for that is humanity took what was good and natural and created by God (Yes, God created sex!!) and turned it into something foul. God's gift of a loving relationship between man and woman which sex is a natural expression of that relationship, has ever since the fall of humanity been distorted and twisted. 

As parents we have a tendency to not want to talk about sex. That should be a warning to us as parents that if God created sex, and we are embarrassed to talk about it with our kids there is something wrong somewhere! The TV is willing to talk about it. The internet is willing to talk about it. The music video is willing to talk about it. The book is willing to talk about it. The school classroom is willing to talk about it. So as parents if we want a word with our children we better start talking about it. If we wish to help keep our fruit from rotting and the branches of the family strong, we had better think about a New Year's commitment to talk with our children about sex. 

It bothers me that our children are having their innocence robbed at such an early age but we cannot protect them, help them make wise choices, and survive the foul weather unless we are part of the conversation and the drivers of the conversation. 

Honestly I never got "the talk" from my parents. My mom brought it up to my dad once in front of me. His response was: "he will figure it out". Well I did and "figuring it out" left its marks and scares upon me and others. I do to want that for my kids. As a parent I hope you do not want that for your kids. 

It is my time as a parent to help them understand the "plumbing", the morals and the ethics. But also most important for me is to emphasize once again who God is, how they are part of His creation, how God has created them, and most importantly where they find value and worth as a human being. Value and worth is not found in having sex or being "sexy". Value and worth is not found in a person's sexual orientation. Value and worth is not measured in who we marry, how many kids we have, how much money we make, what we look like or what we did in life. Our value and worth is bigger than these things. Value and worth is something that lasts and does not fade like our looks or our bodies. Value and worth is not found in a job that can be lost or money that can be stolen from us. 

Value and worth comes from who we are in Christ Jesus.

I want my son and daughters to know what unconditional love is. The only way they will ever see that consistently and perfectly is by looking at Jesus and how He looks and views them as human beings. I can not love them that way always for I am imperfect. Their future spouse will not always love them that way for they are imperfect. They will not always love that way for they are imperfect. Yet Jesus will and does love them unconditionally! 

It is our duty as parents to be the ones teaching our kids about sex, their bodies and morals that will shape and mold their world view. I want my role as a dad to control when and how I present "the talk" so they would feel comfortable coming to me as other questions arise. I want my kids to know what I base my beliefs in and opinions on. 

This is a worthy New Year's resolution. 

Get involved with your kids and take an active role in their education. Talk with them and do not let others have these important life conversations without your input. 
One last thought: think about Christian education. Yes it is expensive and it is not perfect but it does have its pluses. Do not misunderstand me for I know there are great teachers and many Christian teachers in the public schools but they have their hands tied by laws passed by the government that tells them what to teach and what not to teach. They have rules and laws that restrict them from speaking about their faith. That is sad but it is a reality. 

Still the bottom line remains the same whether you send your kids to a Christian school or a public school, you can and your children need you to be involved with their life and education. 

Care for your fruit!

Strengthen your family tree!

Until next time, Do not fear for the Lord your God is with you!

God Bless! 

Pastor Andy